A component of Daniel Goleman’s description of emotional intelligence involves social skills – the skills we use in communicating with others. This includes the capacity to relate to others on several levels, especially group dynamics.

Emotional intelligence self-awareness skills help me identify what I’m feeling and how I’m reacting to others. Can I relate to others inclusively? Can I relate to groups in a way that inspires people to include me? Do I feel included?

Do I see patterns of behavior within the group?

For instance, do people relate to others equally? Do people seem to regard someone as a formal or informal group leader? Have cliques formed within the group?

Does someone in the group seem to want to be the focus of attention? How would I relate to that? Am I simply aware of it, or do I rush to judge it? Do I think of ways to navigate this dynamic? Developing the social skills to “read” group behavior can be an important skill in work and personal relationships.

Tarot is a tremendous help with this skill. There are certain cards that remind me to develop and use social skills:

10 of Swords – Feeling attacked, defeated, picked on, a scapegoat, no one helping. Is that really what happened or am I feeling like a victim because I’ve decided that I am one? Am I taking things too personally and being reactive?

Do I need to keep my chin up and ignore slights from others? This number 10 is the end of a cycle. A chapter could be ending and new one beginning.  Maybe I need to just stop the drama.

5 of Wands – What are these guys doing? Notice they look like they might be in conflict, but they aren’t hurting each other – only sparring or playing with their wands high in the air. Is the person dressed in red the leader? There is definite interaction going on here. We just don’t know exactly what it is. Number 5 is the middle of a cycle or chapter. Go with it.

5 of Swords – Some people are walking away defeated.  One guy has a smirk on his face as he picks up the swords and takes them away. The number 5 tells me that the first part of something is over – maybe a conflict? Am I the guy smirking or  am I one of the people walking away? Did this  person deserve to  win or is it all a mind game?

6 of Wands – I am part of a celebration or people are celebrating me. Everyone seems happy about something. My horse glances at me with a knowing expression. Is he telling me to get over myself? Sometimes animals are smarter than people. The number 6 says I’m in the middle of something but well on my way.

3 of Cups – It looks like a girls’ weekend! Whatever it is, we laugh, celebrate, toast and have a good time. It’s the beginning of a joyous time. We relish each other’s company.

10 of Pentacles – This is the ultimate happy family, with everyone together: 10 is the end of a cycle or the achievement of a goal. The suit of pentacles says that all physical needs are met. This could be a family or a group that is so close that it IS family.  Congratulations!